Yeah I said It,God Quit

I know this is going to piss people off, it's harsh, but sometimes you've just got to say it. God Quit. Yes he quit. You say he never quits, he's always watching over us, keeping us safe. The tell me why good people die every day. Tell me why in 2006 20 Innocent people were killed in a crime spree. Tell me why serial killers manage to stay out of god's Almighty wrath to live to kill more people.

Please, don't say he doesn't work like that, don't be a hypocrite. We worship god and pray he will protect us from harm, and our families, and everyone else, but I don't see that happening. And if god is so just then why is there so much genocide and killing in Africa. Why is Dafur happening?Why is Iraqi civil war happening? Why doesn't he stop this?

O I forgot already, were only human, he lets suffering happen here because no one's perfect and then we can appreciate heaven right. Bullshit. If I'm going to appreciate heaven I want to see something that makes me think that there is a heaven. Don't tell people have saw it when near death. When near death people have saw lights, there lives, and even clowns. We see what we want to see, not what god shows us.

I just can't understand how there could be a god that would say, preserver and pray and you will be all right. Hah. If that is true what about all those people dead in Africa. They prey. They cry. They suffer through more every day then all of us lucky, stuck up shits here at home do in a lifetime. Why do they suffer? Like I said they prey. O but they don't pray to our god, they prey to there god. So they don't get the benefits. Hold up a sec. I thought God gave everyone forgiveness and protection, but not them. How does this work. So is God partial to only those who believe in him, or does he really love all people? Prove it if you can.

Honestly speaking think of the Holocaust. 6 Million dead Jews. Over 10 million dead total. So don't tell me that it was just a challenge. I thought or God was a peaceful god, a God of wonders, not death. Yet that's all I can see at that time, hundreds upon thousands of dead Jews, THE FIRST PEOPLE TO EVER BELIEVE IN GOD. 6 million of them. DEAD.

The christian religion is so hypocritical to real life. I Honestly have no idea how someone can look me in the face and say they have never questioned their religion. I know we need hope, everyone does, but don't try to pass it to me. I don't understand how someone could be so blind as too not question their religion. All you have to do is look around to see how the things you here in Church, Temple, Or Mass are contradicted by what happens in the world.

Just think of the Islamics. They all believe in Allah. Which is god, the same god we worship. Yet he would willingly let his own followers fight each other to death in a chaotic civil war then do something about it. What hell does he just sit up there and play poker with Buddha or something.

Finally my last point. Someone might say, "Well the devil does all that stuff not god." OK then lets think, I don't see how Satan- who served as an angel under god- could outdo him this much. The bible says Jesus walked up to Satan and took the keys to the afterlife from him, if Jesus- the embodiment of god can do that, I'm sure god could take care of him.

Just understand this, I'm not an atheist, I'm a strict Lutheran who believes in god. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to question religion. So say this, I challenge anyone who reads this entire thing or just skips down to this paragraph to think about what they believe, and not just believe it, but find the holes, ask questions, because as far as I'm concerned, someone who doesn't ask questions about it is blinded by their own religion. Blinded by God.

Asking A Question to The Almighty,

Tufte

He's Everywhere

Yes he's everywhere, he's in speeches and newspapers, in our thoughts and our daily conversations. He's been the reason for wars and the reason for peace. And yet for the some ump-teen million debated years he's been around he's still here. Or maybe it's not a he, maybe it's whatever it wants to be.

O, god, how curious a lord you really are.

Your always there, or so it has been said. Your the reason for the good, the bad and the downright strange. We are all at your will. Our lives and deaths are in your hands. You have got 2 Billion followers among the world. Another 1 billion people believe in you but call you Alah instead. So I have to ask if your everywhere and so just, and rightous, and almighty and fair then someone please explain to me why he quit?

Oh Shit

It's Sunday. It's 9:30. Here I am doing my blog for extra credit when it hits me. We have a full feature story due Tuesday. We have some math assignment that I don't understand due Tuesday also. Top of the list though, got a math test on Tuesday and god knows how many other tests we'll get this week. O did i mention I have to go to the cities right after school tomorrow and Tuesday. And I haven't started any of this yet.

I believe right now is the appropriate time for the age old saying "Oh Shit."

Yeah I know It's my fault. I had all week to do it, but my friends from the cities came down. I'm not going to say "hey excuse for a few hours, I have homework." I'm sure many others can agree. It's holiday break for god's sake. Lay off with the damn homework.


Really, do we all have to be like grand old Gale Nelson, "No matter what is going on you will have homework, because math is like a sport, you don't take breaks if you want to be good." Load of Bull. I'm sure everyone else agrees, it's a holiday BREAK, go give us a god damn break.

Just Think About It,

Tufte

Cranium

So it is thanksgiving again and here I am in the same big fluffy chair in my grandmothers basement, when oh god not again, the dreaded cranium is brought forth. It is a family tradition, every thanksgiving we all sit together and play cranium. If you don't know what that is I pity you, it's a great board game. 

Well any who, we get together to play and all I can think about is what is going to be the "moment" this year. Last year it was me yelling sexual harassment instead of punchline, year before that my aunt had to hum "billy jean" by Micheal Jackson and it came out more like Mary had a little lamb. And I realized then, how much I love my family. 

Makes me laugh, I had to be playing a board game at a holiday to realize how much I truly enjoy being around my family. I laugh so much when were together, I believe I laughed so hard I cried, at least three times this year.

 I can't stand them sometimes, no one can be around someone that much, but when I'm with them I can't help but smile. When my family gets together all of our otherworldly problems go away, and we just laugh and laugh. It is almost sad that It took till now, probably the 12 year I can remember with them, to realize that. Just a personal epiphany for you all. 

Giving Thanks For Family,

Tufte

A Pressure Preformance

It is dark. It is quiet. Everyone is standing together bouncing off the walls with excitement. The music starts the curtain opens,
"Fabric, get your fabric," and the play has begun.
Call it stupid, but that's what happens behind the scenes. For some reason we're always nervous before a show, but then the curtain opens and it all goes away in a second. Some people hate pressure, some people love it.

When people fold under pressure I almost feel sorry for them. Anthony Tate cannot choose a flavor of ice cream without spending at least 2 minutes going,
"Uh ummm....I don't know."
It is the saddest thing I've ever seen. I get were he's coming from. I personally hate pressure. Yet I still love it. I love the feeling of pressure once it's started. Once I know I've got it down, when I know I did it, I love that feeling. The feeling of success that removes that pit from your stomach and makes you smile from ear to ear. It's one of the best feelings in the world.

So as I leave once again a saying for the road- Thrive on pressure, because once you get past it you will feel like your on top of the world.

Just Think About It,

Tufte

"Well That was Random"

Ha, I've heard that a lot lately. It happens to everyone, those very, very strange moments where we do some strange random thing so weird all anyone can say is "Well that was random." I must say i love those moments. It is those stupid things we do just to make filler space in an awkward silence that are truly funny.

Everyone is random, some more then others, but notice how it's always with friends that this happens. Can you name once you were random with people your not comfortable with. Don't know why that is buts that's just the way it happens i guess. I must say I wish i could see some peoples random moments. Some people are so quiet when in public I'd just like to hear them say something funny.

So this is a pretty random blog, most of mine are, but like I said were all random, maybe we should just be random more often.

Just Think About It,

Tufte

The Undercurrent of Silence

Silence, all we hear is silence. It's not awkward it is just there, it is always there. But is there more, is there more then what we can hear, what we can see. What is silence?

It's a weird question isn't it. But you get my drift. There's always a silence it's always there, that gap in-between our sentences, in-between our conversations. That is what makes conversations worth listening too, that is what makes things worth reading. It's what we don't say that matters, it's that look that people give us, or when they don't that tell us how they feel. The emotions people try to hide behind words, but in silence there are no words, and emotions are laid bare.

Those emotions, anger, trust, sadness, happiness, its in the space. That gap, even the smallest gap, is the biggest difference. It's that little detail that changes a conversation. That is the undercurrent of silence, it's the meaning of the gap. If you pay attention to what people don't say, then you get a look into there heart. You get a look into what they really mean.

Silence, it's the cover for what we want to say and can't.
----------

I'M NOT SHOOTING BAMBI!!

So I went hunting for my forth year today. It's was cold. It was really cold. It was like when hell freezes over this is how it will feel...cold. But I did it anyways. I got to shoot, didn't hit anything, but oh well. Thing is yet again I was talking to a girl from Lakeville yesterday at a Yig deal and guess what she said when I said I hunted. "I could never go out and shoot Bambi."

OK the next person who says that too me, I will shoot. I'm not shooting a cartoon deer that speaks English and has a little rabbit friend named Thumper. I'm shooting at a wild animal that lives in the forest and doesn't speak. And trust me a deer isn't that cute. I can attest to that. That's the thing that gets me really ticked. When people sit there and say, "Don't kill dear, those poor little animals never did anything to you." Yeah, the point of hunting is not just to kill.

The point of hunting is two things, sport and food. We don't shoot the dear and leave dead in the middle of the field, we take it and eat the meat, also known as venison. Hey I'm not saying I don't like PETA, standing up for endangered animals and abused house pets is great. But don't tell me the dear suffer during hunting, one shot and their dead. Maybe two, but the dear dies quite fast. Better then getting your neck and body shredded by a pack of wolves wouldn't you agree. Without hunting, deer would become over populated, even though natural predators kill them, the dear population is 1,113,000, in Minnesota. Hunters kill 211,777 a year, which i second to the weather. That is right, the weather kills more deer then hunters. Does that mean we need protest the weather. Quick PETA get them, let us fire all weather men and women, no even better, let's Sue god. After all he controls the weather, right? Well that's a different subject.

Point is if hunters didn't hunt there would be 211,777 extra deer each year. Let all them breed and let's see how many deer we have in 10 years. So I'll say it again, unless your going to complain to the skies also, Don't bother the hunters, it's completely legal and safe( unless your stupid) and where not making deer extinct. So one last time, I'M NOT SHOOTING BAMBI!!.

-Tufte

Remember Remember...

Anyone who has seen V for Vendetta can finish this sentence, ...The 5 of November. Well today is the fifth of November and I don't think I will ever forget it. Today I came so close to losing everything I've ever had, Yes it may sound corny, but it's true. Some will say I'm making up bull because I want too, go ahead think that, but I'm dead serious in saying that I almost managed to screw up my entire life, and a few others in the process.

I'm not at liberty to say how, let us just say that it was serious. And it was my fault. It is weird, I have never really done anything majorly stupid, everyone does stupid things, but nothing close to what almost became a reality to me today. It didn't really hit me until I was on my way home today, and then bam, like an explosion to the chest, i realized how I had been within a hairs breath of losing everything I love. I've never thought of things like Chorale, The Musical, even sports I play as things I love, but I do. I honestly don't know what I'd do without those things in my life.

I know now that I do, and I realize how much I take for granted in life. I have always said not to take things for granted, and it turns out I took everything I have for granted. I am the biggest hypocrite I've ever known. And then I thought of the other people's lives I almost messed up. I could have ruined others lives, and yet I didn't notice until today what a careless, selfish person I had become. I'm the exact opposite of what I had ever wanted to be.

All these things came to me at once while I was in my car. I got home, walked inside, sat down against the wall in my room, and cried. Yes, I cried. Call me a pussy, a sissy, a spaz, I honestly don't give a shit. The saying "you wouldn't know unless it happened to you," comes into play here. You honestly wouldn't. It felt good, it really did, and then came that laughter. You all know what I mean. That laughter that follows the tears, I don't know what I was laughing at, there wasn't anything to laugh at. I think my body was telling me I had to stop, I had to be better then this. So I vow to be.

After my episode today I can understand, not fully, but more clearly, what I have that others don't, and what matters to me. And to think I came so close to losing that. I dodged a bullet, and I plan to never let that gun shoot again. So I apologize to those who's lives i came so close to ruining, I know it is not enough but it is what I've got right now, and i promise, for now and ever, to tread carefully, and with a full respect to my actions.

Remember Remember The Fifth of November,
Tufte

Screw The List

So like i said in my last one, I complain a lot. Also like a said in my last blog, I need to stop. So as a first act of making myself less of a complainer, I'm screwing that list. Yeah there is plenty of stuff in the world that I can complain about, that I have complained about. But there is lots of stuff that is great that I could talk about it. It is just harder to notice.

That list was a stupid idea. I'll say it myself. Does anyone really want to hear the 20 things about them that make them a jerk. I realize this after I wrote it of course. But I'm not going to delete it, I'm going to keep it there so that if i run out of good things to write about I'll write about one of those. Everyone needs a little venting time so I'll keep them there for that. But from now on, I am going to blog to make points, not to bitch at the world.

I'm Thinking About It,
Tufte

Draw the Line

I complain. A lot. Maybe not to peoples faces, that's not my thing. But in my head and too my friends, even in my blogs. I sit down at my computer and try to think of what I want to blog about and the only thing i can ever come up with is something that i think is stupid or wrong, and complain about it. I've been told I'm just making a point, but where's the line? Where is that thin line that everyone treads, that separates making a point and just complaining because you can.

I know why i complain, that is the easy part. What I don't understand is why i don't just find a better way to put it down in words. It seems the only way I can make a point is to bitch to the world on how much of a screw up we all are. I don't even like the sound of it. But this is just another problem what if i haven't crossed that line yet? What if I'm just being way over-conscience of what I'm writing cause I'm too hard of a critic on myself. But if I'm to hard of a critic on myself then I'm probably too hard of a critic to the rest of the world.

I guess this is my point. If i can't look at what I've said and wrote so far and know if it was complaining or making a decent point, then is what I'm writing even worth it. Am I even expressing my thoughts out there or are they being covered up by my inability to recognize if it's gone to far? Is everything I'm saying being taken to far or am I to worried about complaining that I don't realize I've never crossed that line? I don't know. I Honestly Don't.

The one thing I'm looking for, now that i think about it, is the middle ground. I think I need to find that line and tread it like I own it. We as people need to find the middle ground of the extremes and walk it. Because when we just sit on one side we never really realize what it's like on the other side, we are blinded by our own stupidity. AHH, see i complain again. The one thing I ask you out of this blog is "Where is that line, when do you cross over to complaining
from making a point, and have i crossed it or am i just paranoid?"

Just Think About It,
Tufte

1. When People Won't Change

This is probable one of the most annoying things i can think of. It's not that i think everyone should change into some society of perfectionists, that's the Popes job and he can keep it. No offense to all you Catholics, i just don't like the pope.

Anyways, this may just be me but i have this problem of picking people apart and finding there faults. Ask me about anyone and i could give you a tirade about what's wrong with them. I'm working to change that, also i have a problem with noticing the small details about people and what's important to them and missing the things that really do matter. You know, those things that if they were signs would be neon yellow blinking in the middle of the road, yeah I'm the idiot that would crash through that sign and keep driving and not notice it, at all. Working on fixing that too.

I guess the whole point of that is that i know things about me that need to change and I'm willing to embrace them and make myself a better person by fixing them. It's not easy, I have said it before, no one likes to change. Yet i think we have too.

I don't mean like someone says "You should do this cause i want you too" i mean you do something a lot, and you know it's wrong, or it's something that you think should be different. Don't change for other people change for yourself. Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out to you that you need to change. Don't fight it, embrace it and fix it. It's not easy, I know but you have to make a conscience effort. If you make i conscience effort to fix it, it becomes easier.

I guess that is what pisses me off the most about this. When someone refuses to make a conscience effort to make themselves a better person because their too egotistical and full of themselves to care. They may not be the case but in my opinion it is. Well I am not going to ramble on any longer so I'm leaving. But a ask you this, What about you do you want to change, after you ask yourself that go out and do something about it.

Making The Change,
Tufte

IT'S SNOWING??

OK i lied, i said i would blog about my 20 things list but i didn't see this coming. I woke up this morning to a great howl outside my window. I get out of bed look out my basement window and yell "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!" Don't get me wrong i love the snow. It gives me something to do in the winter, but it's October.

I'm fine with that first snow that falls in mid-November when it's a high of 32 degrees. But when it's October 26Th and there's 30 mile an hour wind outside and I'm inside and freezing my ass off, that's when i get more then just a little peeved. I know none of this snow will stick, the grounds to warm for that, but if this is a sign, were in for a very, very, very, long cold winter.

And i must say my front lawn all of a sudden became quite ugly. Yesterday, the 25h it was a sea of reds, yellows, and oranges. It was a sight all it's own. And over the course of 24 hours it has turned into a wasteland of brown dead trees that as i speak are bending backwards in 30 mph winds. Like i said snow is great, it's why winter is my favorite season, but I'm not looking forward to these next few months. So as i leave i ask this, WHY GOD, OH WHY??

I Don't like the cold,
Tufte

20 Things I Hate About You, Me, and Everyone Else

This title is pretty straight forward. I was thinking and i came up with 20 things i hate or i guess you could say extremely dislike about us as people. Most of them express the two extremes of an issue so i guess I'm looking for the middle ground. Maybe I shouldn't but i do. So i decided to make a list and over the next 10 weeks I'm going to blog about 2 of the 20 each week. So here it goes; the 20 things i hate about you, me, and everyone else:

1. When people won't change.
2. When people force themselves on you.
3. Those who won't talk.
4. Those who won't shut up.
5. When you talk about what you don't know.
6. When you refuse to listen.
7. The people who never let go.
8. The people who let go to quickly.
9. When I need to be the decision maker.
10. When I can't make a decision.
11. When people want everything.
12. When people refuse to say what they want.
13. Those who look at everything optimistically.
14. Those who look at everything pessimistically.
15. People who don't let you know how they feel, EVER.
16. People who need a shoulder to cry on every other day.
17. When I can't control what I'm doing.
18. When I know what I'm doing is wrong and I still do it.
19. When you know what I'm doing and is wrong and don't stop me.
20. People who act like your friend and stab you in the back.

Found 20 new ideas,
Tufte

The 5th Season

Right now is the worst time of the year. It's that stupid mid-October to November season when it's 20 degrees at night and 50 degrees, 40-30 with wind chill, in the morning and afternoon. It is cold it's miserable, and it's ugly. Most of the trees leaves will be dead in 2 weeks, everyone will be ticked because no likes being cold and looking at a bunch of dead grass all day. I refer to it as the 5th season.

Got to admit i have got a point. There is a good 3-4 week gap in the year when all fun dies. All the sports end and none of the games begin until late November. Plus it gets cold so any of that fun, outside stuff we like to do becomes imposable. To be frank in my mind if it's going to be cold and miserable it might as well snow. Also winter is the best season of all 5.

Running Out of Ideas,
Tufte

Fear

What are you afraid of? Don't say nothing, that's bullshit. Everyone is afraid of something. I don't see how you can't be. We may not like it but fear is an important part of our lives. You may not think that is true but keep reading I will explain.

See we are all afraid of one thing, or at least i believe we are. That is death. I have never met a person who is not afraid of it. Some have accepted it, they know that no matter when they die they know where they'll end up. But that doesn't mean they don't fear death. I'm not scared of what happens after I die, that's to stupid to worry about. But i am scared of what it would feel like to die. What happens in those last moments? Do i have a flashback do?Do i see that light at the end of the tunnel? Does everything just fade to black like in a movie? That is what scares me about death.

But when i really think about it i guess death also does more then scare me, it motivates me. I hear about people dying suddenly all the time. They didn't do anything, sometimes luck just is not on your side. It's the knowledge that any day i could die that keeps me going. It makes me want to do something with my life. I don't have to do anything life changing but i want to have a life that at my funeral people can look back and say "He had a good life, full of friends and happiness." It's that motivation that keeps me trying to make myself a better person.

There is one last thing. Some people I'm sure are not afraid of there own death. But i am sure that everyone is afraid of the death of a loved one. Whether it's your best friend or your grandma we are afraid to let go of that person. I will tell you my grandma is 87, has high blood pressure, arthritis, and is overweight. And i will tell you i am dreading the day that i get pulled out of school for some reason i don't know. It's scares the hell out of me. Some people would say not to worry about it, but that's impossible.

Many people have gone through the loss of a loved one and i feel deeply for them. I may not know what that feels like but i still know it must hurt to the very bottom of your person. But these people can reinforce my point that death is a thing that is scary. So as i leave once again i ask you this question with a different perspective, "What are you afraid of?"

Just Think About It,
Tufte

Screwed Up Society

Were screwed up. We all know it, we all are in our own weird way. We all have our own little things that make us different and strange in our own way. Some of them may be obvious, others hidden deep inside our personality and emotions. Some of us hide them, other show them off for the world to see. Thing is if you want people to see it or not society doesn't want to. I think we should let people see us but the rules say we shouldn't.

That what is screwed up about us as a whole today. We made a norm and now everyone has to stick to the norm. I appreciate the people who go outside the lines and ignore what the rest of us say, but the fact is they will be outlawed. It's just the way things go. It's sad but i speak the truth and it's still sad but you know I'm right on this point. We all have things hidden from view because were so afraid that we will no longer fit in between the lines.

It's so stupid when you think about it. That our lives are governed by something or someone other then us. Society forms what we turn into, what we think, and what we do. Let me give you and example: swear words. Every swear word has a real meaning, but someone at sometime decided that all of sudden that word was unfit to be said. And that idea slid into others, spreading like a disease, infecting more and more of us until the word became socially unaccepted. It's so sad that something like that can happen.

If you don't believe what I'm saying listen to this. The bible shows us that these words were once accepted. In fact the bible actually uses the words, shit, bastard, and ass. To further my point here are the definitions of each word as written by the Merriam-Webster dictionary that sits in my house.

Ass- African mammal (East asinus) that is the ancestor of the donkey
Bastard- an illegitimate child( meaning a child born from two unmarried parents.)
Bitch- the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
Fuck- to express anger, contempt, or disgust
Shit- Human feces or a worthless, offensive, or detestable person

See what i mean, they all have real meanings. They all were used in daily language like anything else. But society managed to change them and now we are their next victims. Society picks at us and tries to dig it's ideals into our heads. This is right, this is wrong, you can say this, not that. What the hell happened to our freedoms. I don't have the freedom to think how i want to, because when i do and i say it, I'm shunned, thrown out, and forced to keep silent. People say we shouldn't have our full rights of freedom, we don't know how to use it, we don't know the boundaries. Well to everyone out there that thinks that I, as a person have to stay were they can see and hear me and tell me whats right or wrong, SHUT THE HELL UP.

I am a person and i will express myself as i see fit to do. And until i start threatening you and pressing my viewpoints onto you i am free to do so. As i see it, my constitutional rights are violated. I am told what I am not allowed to say and do when i am young. See people press their ideas on us when we are young and we don't know it, and we begin to follow what they show us because we don't know any better. That's infringing my right to believe and think what i want to, before i can even stop you.

So as i close i ask you now, as a group of young people who can shape the future. To not accept what society throws in our face. Lets express ourselves, let's swear, after all, there only words that have been banned by someone that decided that they needed too. Your not going to hell for it. I'm pretty sure the bible never said, "Don't say Ass, Shit, Bastard, Bitch, or Fuck." So please let your voice be heard above the noise that is society and please tell me of what you think we can do to change this problem in our lives.

Just Think About It,
Tufte

A Flashback to Remember

Well this post is a little different then the other ones on this blog. It will make more sense if you read Two Lasting Candles. But anywho yesterday or October the 4Th i had an anniversary, you all know it anyways, it was mine and Maranda's year anniversary. But this isn't about that it's about what it brings back. It through me into flashback mode, and i can't get out of it. All i can do is sit and think about the past year. The memories are about me and her but also about everything else that has happened it the past year. I never realized it but a lot has happened.

There is so much i could write about but this is my main point. The change that happens in time. You don't notice it until you take a long look back. I've made lots of new friends in the last year, I've also lost a few. I've changed more then i thought, not in physical appearance but just as a person. I guess I've helped i few people along the way as well. The change though was immense. I've learned how to deal with people. I've seen people go from some of my best friends to someone i don't talk to anymore.

That is just some of the change though. I used to never plan ahead or to make decisions even important ones, i was a procrastinator. But that's changed. I now plan ahead sometimes when i have to and with a little urging I'll make a decision. The biggest change has been my life outside of myself though. Over the last year I've become a lot more social then i ever was. Came out of my shell if you will. I can thank Maranda for that.

These may seem petty but the biggest part about it is that I accepted the change. I hardly even noticed it but that's a good thing. People need to be able to change, and to change for the better. I know i have. For some people it's hard, i understand, trust me i know a few people who i had to work over before they started to let themselves change. But once you do it's so much better then before. I said it in Cats and Dogs, if only we were all more open to change the world would be so much better. So i leave thanking you Maranda, for and amazing year and for changing me into a better person, and i hope everyone who bothers to read this that the same can happen to you.

Just Think About It,
Tufte

F---- High School

Sorry Mr. Worth but it had to be said. I'm not saying that to the teachers or the school board or the enormous amount of of homework. I'm saying this to all the stupid, pointless, idiotic gossip and lies that float around the high school like fleas in a glass of soda. It makes no sense why people do it, yet they do. It's not only the spreading, but the willingness to listen that pisses me off.

Were all guilty of it, i know i am. But that's something we have to change, when we hear something we know is not true or is something that we know should stop, kinda obvious we should stop it. It may sound like something your 3rd grade teacher told you but it rings so true in life. When we first heard it we just nodded are head and said "yes Mrs. Smith" but we really should have listened. I've said this before, the truth is one of the most important things you will ever have, so you should try to make sure you live a life full of it.

And think about this, when you spread a rumor you've heard from another source, your just as guilty as whoever started the damn lie. And you know what you deserve whatever is coming to you as a result. The fact that we as people cannot stop something because it's the latest news is so absolutely stupid and destructive to us as people. When you can't tell the truth when your young, what do you plan to do when your an adult. You can't lie your way through life, so unless were all going to grow up to be politicians i propose we change.

It's true we as people need to change. It's not even a difficult thing to ask, to tell the truth is so much simpler then telling a lie. The fact that it seems like there are only a few who understand this is what ticks me off the most. The urge to spread things is like an infection with no cure. It takes over and know one can stop it until it eventually kills itself out. And a few weeks later it starts again. We need to be that cure, we need to stop this now. We need to stop this S---.

So as i sign off i ask you to please do this, tell the truth and nothing but that the truth, not so help you god, but so help yourself.

Don't Just Think About It, Do Something About It,
Tufte

Cats and Dogs

Over a year ago i got two cats. About 2 months ago i got 2 dogs. As you could guess it wasn't good. For weeks it was the dogs see that cats and off to the races they go, usually ending with a cat up a tree. But it wasn't that the dogs didn't like the cats or vice-versa, it was that the cats didn't like the change. They were trying to avoid it. So much that one left for two weeks before she came back.

Kind of like people don't you think? We don't like change, I can tell you i don't. When things change we fight it. If someone new and different enters are life some of us will accept them, and others will shun them. It's just the way we are.

But that's not the end of the story. My cats eventually learned something, that no matter what they do the dogs were staying. And guess what, they learned to deal. They learned that if the dogs come at them to stand up and let the dogs sniff there butt. Wouldn't it be great if people were like that, if we could just accept the change and deal with it? So i leave you with this thought, when was the last time you let someone sniff your butt?

Just Think About It,
Tufte

I'm a Freak

Like a said I'm a freak... and you know what I'm OK with that. I'm weird, i do strange things, i say weird stuff, i look funny and you know what... I'm OK with that. You know what that's called? Self-confidence, and the world needs more of it. I'm fine with the way i act talk and look. If people think I'm a loser, a nut head, or a dork, all the more to you. I don't see why people care so much, be happy the way you are. That's one thing i admire about what people call goths. They aren't afraid to express themselves and they don't care what you think about it.

Why has society placed categories on our lives that we have to fit into? Everyone is so concerned about where they fit in society. Wake up we don't live in India, there's no caste system, you are who you make yourself. So make yourself who you really are, don't cover yourself with a mask because you have to "fit in." Take that mask off and be you.

So you know what, next time you pass me in the hall I want you to yell freak at me. Yell it at the top of your lungs or as soft as you want but just yell it at me and notice that I'll just smile and laugh.

Just Think About It,
Tufte

Truth, Pride, and the Wisdom of Lies

Truth is the most interesting thing ever. It makes things right yet it makes things so wrong. The only difference between what it does is who is telling it. The truth is what you make of it. The truth changes, it moves with what each new person changes about it. It starts simple, we make a comment, one that is not true, whether we meant it to be that way or not. It spreads until everyone knows what you said, and then it is true. People believe your comment or insult or whatever it was and is and it's now the truth. You may not want it to be but it is, it isn't a lie yet it's the truth it's what people believe.

Now you have a choice, you can own up to your false truth take responsibility for your actions and clear your name. But we don't, we hide behind our "truth" we didn't mean it we really didn't but we don't have the stones to admit it. That's were we go wrong, the truth always catches up with you and when it finds you, all hell upon you. The truth gets you and all of a sudden your stuck with everyone wondering why you would lie to them. The truth is a $@%#& when it catches you. Everything good you ever did is erased in one moment, the moment your pride stopped you from taking responsibility. Now you are haunted for the rest of you life by what a truth has become.

The truth is unbeatable, it's a rolling boulder coming for you and your little wall that is your pride. Pride makes us the one thing we try not to become, a lying, over-confident, self-centered pig. That Boulder crushes your little wall of pride and you are exposed to what you have become. And when people see what you have become the truth makes you what you say. Now stop and think, that is the wisdom of lies. When your truth becomes a lie, whether someone else finds you out or you own up to it, you can learn something from it. That lie can teach you how be a better person you just have to look at it in a better light. What you did is wrong, and now you have to fix it. Don't say sorry, sorry is bull. You may mean it, but it doesn't matter it doesn't change anything. You have to make an effort. You have to change what you did and repair the damage you caused. You have to LEARN.

That's the wisdom of all lies, that behind it is something that can change you. The thing is you have to look for it, you have to make a conscious effort to find it. You can't be lazy and sit around and hope, hope is nothing without action, you have to work for change. So next time you make a truth or change a truth, or you reveal the truth. Look at what happened and LEARN from your mistakes, and try not to make them again.

Just Think About It,
Tufte

Waiting

Waiting is interesting isn't it. We all hate waiting. We know something is coming and we want it we want it bad. But we have to wait, we have to sit and wait. We hate it we all do we can't stand not being able to have or do what were waiting for but we don't get the choice. The funniest part about waiting though is that we hate because of our drive. Our drive to have what we want is dominating our lives so much it's almost scary. We have to have everything that sometimes we forget to slow and appreciate what we have. The small things of the big things, we forget that we have them all in our mad rush to have whats next.

So maybe waiting is a good thing maybe that hate we have for things we can't have is good. When were forced to wait were forced to look at what we have and maybe be thankful we have it. We'll soon forget about it though, once were done waiting and we have what we want. But once you have it don't take it for granted. That is the downside of waiting you want it so bad and then when you have it you don't appreciate it. You take it for granted not thinking of how lucky you are for having it. So next time you have to sit around and wait i want you to appreciate what you have and what you are about to get.

Just think about it,
Tufte

Memories on a Wrap Around Couch

The other day i was sitting at a friends house with some of my good friends. We were going to watch a few movies and just mess around, have fun, that stuff. But things didn't go as planned. Instead of having a bonfire or watching movies we spent two hours sprawled out on a giant wrap-around couch talking. Just talking, talking about the past years and telling stories about the funniest things we had done and said. It was strange how I've been friends with these people for years and yet every story was just as funny as when it happened. And then i realized why. It had been so long since we just sat down and talked that all those things came flooding back to us like they had just happened the day before. And the feeling of happiness like we had just walked out of the best joy ride of our life came to all of us. We just laughed and laughed at all the funny and stupid stuff we had done since we met each other that we started to cry it was so funny. There is one other thing that goes with this though. That even though it had been months since any of us had remembered these things we all did. That's the beauty of it. That we can hold to the memories that we hold dear to us until the day we die. So no matter how close it seems we are slipping into that black hole that is the oblivion of the life, we can always stick are hand the other way and hold onto those memories that makes us cry from joy. That no matter how bad life is there is always something we have with us given to us by people we love being with and around. So when it seems like you've only got a small hole of breathing room in your life take however many fingers you can fit through it and stick them in there and search around for those memories you hold so dear and never let go, cause the day you do is the day you give up hope. And that is the day that I hope you never have to see.

Just think about it
Tufte

Lunchroom Politics

The lunchroom is like the Senate. Some 200 people assembled together with different ideals and the ability to talk to about them. The thing is politics today, just like a high school lunchroom, people are always looking for ways to screw someone else over. Inside of it and outside of it politics are like 16 year old girls spreading rumors about one another to get ahead. Their TV ads are the mouths of the young bashing on each other because of their own selfish ambitions. It's sad when our own politicians can't rise above the level of a 15 year old. Most politicians are better then that, like most people in a lunchroom but there are those few rotten apples that stink up both sides of this analogy. In my opinion we should pick our politicians like are friends, with morales. Maybe then they will grow up.

The Finish Line

I have a question. Why is there always a goal. People are always looking for a reward, there always trying to get somewhere. There always aiming for the finish line. I learned a saying this summer "The destination IS the journey". So i ask this of anyone reading, when was the last time you just stopped and thought "where am i and how did i get here?". We live life to the next level, where can we go next, what more can we do and sometimes we just need to stop. I believe the whole point of life isn't where you end up it's how you got there. I want to enjoy my life and i plan on doing just that so i ask you this, if you know where your going to end up do you know how your going to get there? i hope you don't cause that's what makes it fun, when you just let life happen and roll with the punches. Improvise, it makes things fun, when your not expecting something it's always better then when you see it coming. So relax and when you reach your finish line i hope you can look back and say i had the time of my life getting here.

Remember The Destination is the Journey,
Tufte